we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
