Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
