yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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