Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.

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(301): View more from Maryland

the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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(541): View more from Oregon

We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault

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(404): View more from Georgia

He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

You were.

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(503): View more from Oregon

If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

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(816): View more from Missouri

He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Almost an end to the saga.

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