i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
