my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Randomize
