East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
