She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
