I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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