Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
