perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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