Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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