conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
