Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
