Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think your dad took our porno
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
