update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize