Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
