I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize