guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
