Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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