We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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