woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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