I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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