I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize