I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
