I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
