its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
