I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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