put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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