i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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