He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
