Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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