dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
