Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
