That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
