i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
