So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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