you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
