I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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