I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize