So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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