I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
