But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
