Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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