i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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