Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
