I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
