one two three fourrrrnication!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
