NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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