The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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