that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
