And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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