I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
