I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
