their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
