Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
