Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
