So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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