ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
