Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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