whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
