Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
