Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize