I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Quick, to the slutcave!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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