Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
