I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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