I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize