She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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