you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
