Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Boobs are out for the taking
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
