Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize