we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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