i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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