I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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